7 Steps to Overcome Bad Habits and Become Your Best Self

We all have bad habits that seem to cling to us like stubborn shadows, holding us back from becoming the person we aspire to be. Biting your nails, procrastinating, eating junk food… Trying to break free from bad habits can feel overwhelming. But fear not! With patience, self-compassion, and determination, you can overcome these obstacles and become the best version of yourself. Here are seven compassionate steps to guide you on your personal growth and transformation journey.

Step 1: Be honest with yourself  

The first step to free yourself from bad habits is admitting you have them. Take some time to reflect on your habits without judgment. Notice when, where, and why you engage in them. Is it because of stress, boredom, or certain environments? By understanding the root causes of your habits, you can address them more effectively.

Step 2: Set Realistic Goals

Create a plan to replace your bad habits with good ones. Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself, considering your strengths, limitations, and the time required for lasting change. Break down your final goal into smaller, manageable steps.

Step 3: Replace, Don’t Just Remove

Trying to eliminate a bad habit without replacing it with a healthier alternative can leave a void that might quickly be filled with old behaviors. Instead, focus on replacing your bad habits with positive ones that align with your values and goals. For example, suppose you’re trying to quit smoking. In that case, you might take up meditation or chewing gum as a healthier coping mechanism.

Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Acknowledge that breaking free from bad habits is challenging and that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. Instead of criticizing yourself for slipping up, be kind to yourself, just like you would treat a friend facing a similar struggle; with the same patience and understanding.

Step 5: Use Support Systems

You don’t have to do it alone. Explain your objectives to friends, family members, or support groups who can help by offering encouragement, accountability, and guidance. Surround yourself with people who believe in your ability to change and can provide a shoulder to lean on when you need it.

Step 6: Stay Mindful and Present

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for freeing yourself from bad habits. By staying present in the moment, you can become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and impulses, allowing you to respond to them mindfully rather than reacting on autopilot. Practice mindfulness techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your senses to help you stay focused on your goals.

Step 7: Celebrate Your Progress

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve come. Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Whether it’s resisting the urge to indulge in your bad habit for a day, a week, or longer, each step forward is a victory worth celebrating. Treat yourself to something special as a reward for your hard work and dedication.

Conclusion:

Breaking free from bad habits is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-compassion. By following these steps, you can overcome the obstacles to your personal growth and become the best version of yourself. Remember, change takes time, but with perseverance and a little kindness toward yourself, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Get Over Emotional Trauma

How can I get over trauma, heal the pain somebody caused me? Here are some answers the Bible gives us: Forgive, Trust in God, Show kindness. As I felt sad and anxious this morning, I wondered why trauma from the past still bothers me? It’s been twenty years, and yet, it seems like the pain is still alive somewhere in my heart. So, I’ve been looking for help in the Bible, and I found that passage where Jesus is on the cross in Luke 23:34 “Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they’re doing…” and it brought soothing tears to my eyes, as it seemed like a good beginning of the answer I was looking for. 

Forgive

First, Forgive. For you, not for them. Forgiveness is liberating. Very often, people who hurt others don’t even realize they did. Therefore, while you are suffering and tormenting yourself, reliving the trauma, those people live their best lives, unconscious of their actions. Sounds unfair, doesn’t it? It doesn’t have to be that way. You received peace and deserve to experience it. The only way to do so is to forgive those who hurt you, no matter how bad they did you wrong or how difficult it may seem. As he faced the people who put him to death, Jesus found the strength to forgive them because He knew they were unconscious. You can find some relief from the need to understand why they did that to you, relieving anxiety and sadness once you understand they were unaware of how bad they hurt you. Through forgiveness, you can find peace and freedom.

Trust in God

Remember that there is only God. When Jesus says that sentence, He is in extreme pain, yet He holds on to God’s love and truth. The truth is: that the devil is defeated. Therefore, there is no evil. Those people hurting others are just ignorant of God’s love. Since you know God and His infinite love for you, you can model Christ and declare that truth, even in your worst days. Focus on the idea that you are loved, not on your present pain. Better things are coming; it is a promise from your creator. I know, it is not easy. Please try, like I did, and start by repeating this truth to yourself and believe it. You are loved.

Kindness

Treat others with kindness. Just because someone mistreats you doesn’t mean you should do the same. I heard Joyce Meyers say, “hurt people hurt people,” and it does make sense. Very often, people don’t deal with their trauma and repeat the same pattern they experienced. They hurt others because that’s what they learned to do. I am not saying it is an excuse, but it personally helps me understand why they acted that way. Now, because I am aware of the risk of repeating wrongdoing after experimenting with it, I can break the cycle and treat people the way I wish to be treated. I will not make innocent people pay for the mistakes somebody committed on me, nor will I seek revenge. 

Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself

All these principles apply to yourself. We often feel bad because we think we could have avoided being hurt, so we blame ourselves for poor decisions we took in the past. Well, maybe you didn’t know better, and that’s ok. You need to find the strength to forgive yourself. A therapist once recommended that I write a letter to myself, to the younger version of me. I can only recommend that you try this. It helps put things in perspective and allows you to take the time to talk to your racing mind, slow it down, and say kind words to yourself.

I am courageous

I am courageous-repeat this positive affirmation for yourself. ❤️


Because when things become challenging, I keep my hope and continue pushing through, I am courageous. Because even when nobody is looking at me, I am still trying to get better at what I do.


God would not allow trouble to come my way if I wasn’t able to endure it. I won’t give up. I trust my creator and believe the universe will send me strength to balance the difficulties I am facing.


I am courageous.

The Truth Makes Me Stronger

Thoughts never stop flowing. Some are refreshing and uplifting, but others can make us feel bad, diminished, powerless. Although we don’t control the flow and nature of thoughts coming through our mind, we can decide what to do with them, especially those negative thoughts. Are we going to listen to them, agree with a defeating narrative and fall into a negative or depressed state of mind? or let them go and focus on more positive things? 

Personally, during years, I used to let self-doubt and depressing thoughts take all the space in my head. It was as if someone else was constantly speaking loudly next to my ear, breaking me down piece by piece. “You should have done this.. How come that task is not complete.. I can’t believe he said that about me.. I am not good enough.. I will never succeed…” So many negative comments I was feeding myself, so many arrows bleeding the heart. Add to this the lack of sleep and social withdrawal: Although it seemed to go well on the outside, I was becoming mentally weaker and weaker. 

Our mind is where the enemy attacks. He can instill negativity, sadness, or anger in us by weakening our minds with his lies. Therefore, it is important to seek the truth, renew our mind, change perspective and become mentally stronger. Thankfully, the Bible is full of resources that can help us do just that.

John 17:17 ESV – Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.

The truth can be found in the word of God. Instead of believing the enemy’s lies, I can dive into the Bible to see what my creator says about me, my life, and my purpose. I can discern the difference between the thoughts I need to let go and those that strengthen me.

John 8:32 ESV -And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Why would I seek that truth? Because it sets me free. God wants us to find peace. Understanding that He has me in the palm of His hands helps me calm down. He wants what is best for me, and He is right there with me in this challenging moment. I am not alone in this temporary mess.

It is also crucial to understand it is an ongoing process. Negative thoughts may come back, and it requires courage and strength to tell yourself, “no, I am not going there.” 

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ESV –We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

The Bible tells us that trouble may come, but it won’t break us.

So, I remind myself that when I don’t feel strong, I can count on Jesus to fight my battle, and the incredible news is that He has already won the battle for me. So I take some time to breathe in, breathe out. Yes, I can do that. Pause and breathe. Slowly. I remind myself that I am loved. I remember my troubles are taken care of.

You are loved too. Trust that you are not alone.

Be Still: You Are Right Where You Need to Be

You are exactly where you need to be. It may be challenging to embrace your situation when you face difficulties or when it seems like God doesn’t answer your prayers. Frustration can push us to try to change things that we have no control on. Worry makes us unhappy. We try to resist our situation when what we need to do is trust. Trust that God is in control. The bible teaches us to be still. In Psalm 46:10 it reads: “Be still and know that I am in God.” 

Whatever your situation is, you are where you need to be. God knows what you are going through. If you are facing troubles, trust that God will use this to make you grow and transform those ashes into beauty. Keep the faith, stay hopeful because your good attitude will allow God to work miracles. Dragging yourself all day, worried, and thinking negatively won’t help. 

Remember that God is in control an you don't nee to worry
Be still and know that I am God – Psalm 46:10

God always answers

You might be mad or disappointed thinking that God doesn’t answer your prayers, but maybe He did. Maybe He answered “not now,” or “I have something better for you,” or “I need you to change your attitude first.” The truth is that God knows what is best for you and wants you to realize your dreams, but He also knows when it is the right time for you or when He should not let you have your way. Therefore, resisting only makes you waste energy. It won’t help to complain about the fact that you didn’t get what you wanted when you wanted. It is only going to make you more frustrated. 

We need to understand that it is a good thing that God doesn’t let us have it our way all the time. We often think that we know what we need, but once we have it, we realize it is not making us happy. Instead, thank God for His mercy and love. He has already prepared great things for you. All you need to do is believe that He is in control and will give you what is best for you in due time. Trust that everything will work for your good. 

Embrace your situation

Embrace your situation and stop trying to fight your issues is the best way to overcome them. It is not always easy and can be scary because our world teaches us to be in control all the time, “be on top of things,” so deciding to go with the flow may sound like a weakness. On the contrary, staying present in your situation and trusting your creator reinforces your faith, and therefore, your character. When the storm is over, and you realize that everything is ok, you feel more confident that if another one comes, you will get through it. 

What the Bible says about staying calm during the storm

Matthew 8:23-27 NIV: Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

During the storm, you can panic, cry, worry like the disciples in that scripture of Matthew 8:23-27, and realize you wasted your energy for nothing once it’s over. Or you can place your trust in God, choose to stay calm, and focus on what you can control, knowing that for all the rest, the universe has your back. In that scripture, Jesus is a little upset to see the disciple so scared. He points their lack of faith. He was so calm that he was sleeping while they were worrying. Why? Because he trusted his creator. That is what he is inviting us to do: stay faithful, quit worrying, and believe that no matter where we are or what the situation is, we are in the right place because God is in control.

Don’t Let Self-Doubt Stop You

What is self-doubt?

Self doubt is that sneaky inner voice, always ready to bring us down when we take a step forward, bothers us. Because of it, we may think that we are not strong enough to do it or unprepared.Self doubt makes it challenging to believe we can make our dream come true, accomplish that objective or pursue that career we want so bad. There are signs that you are able, but you can not see them. Some people may tell you it is possible, but you don’t believe them. Well, here is the truth: If God placed a dream in your heart or sends you on a mission, it is because He knows that you can do it. 

Gideon’s story in judges 14-16

Gideon’s story is a great illustration:

judges 6:14-16

Gideon was a farmer and didn’t feel able to follow God’s plan for his life. When God gave him a mission, his reaction was to ask, “how can I?” Gideon didn’t understand how he could fulfill that mission because he considered himself weak and less than. But God saw Gideon’s potential. Not just who he was at that time, but who he could become. Also, God promised him He would be there with him and lead him to victory.

You are full of potential

Like in Gideon’s story, God sends you on a mission and promises that He will be there with you. So, trust God’s faith in you. Don’t let self-doubt stop you from grasping your opportunity. If He put this opportunity on your way, it is because He knows your potential. It may not look like you are able to do it right now, but He will guide you and lead you to victory just like He did for Gideon. All you have to do is trust His plan.

God trusts you

When you apply for a job, they interview you, test you, and then make their decision. So, you know that when the company gives you the job, it is because they believe you can do it. You can bring value to their organization. When you feel overwhelmed by your new duties, you can take comfort, knowing that they chose you, they trust you, so there is no reason for you to second-guess yourself. Are you going to quit your job for a moment of discouragement? Of course not! The same thing happens in life. God created you, watched you grow, and then gave you a mission. He trusts you. He didn’t give it to you randomly. He chose you. Don’t let your doubts stop his plan for you.

Personal testimony

I had this dream of becoming a professional writer years ago, but nothing pointed me out in that direction. I had a mortgage, a family to feed, a job that didn’t leave me much time to write. So, when that dream of writing for a living started growing in my heart, I kept on shutting it down with all kinds of excuses: I don’t have the time, I never learned how to write, I could not earn enough money doing that… I was scared to believe it was possible. One day, I became so miserable in my life I decided to trust it was possible. I remember reading that job opening from a communication agency that looked for a content writer, and still hear that voice in my head: You have no experience, how would it work? English is not your first language; you really think you can get a job where you write in English? I was discouraged before even starting. The agency asked candidates to send writing samples, and I even hesitated to send them! But then I thought: If I don’t try, I will never know. God wants me to use my gifts to serve him, and I know writing is one of my gifts, so I am going to trust Him. I am going to stop trying to control the outcome and leave it in his hands. The worse thing that can happen is that the agency doesn’t hire me, tells me what I should work on, and it will help me get better. Then I’ll try again. Sure enough, the agency liked my samples, and I got the job immediately. I still remember the joy of receiving my first paycheck! I couldn’t believe I was getting paid for doing what I love! If I had let my doubts win, I would still be unfulfilled and frustrated. Because I trusted God’s faith in me, I allowed His confidence to become my confidence. Now, I am telling you what I told myself back then: God wants to use your gifts and send you on a mission. He trusts you and empowers you. It is your turn to trust Him and grasp that opportunity He places before you. 

Living the Present Moment

I was walking around the lake this morning when the beauty of the scenery struck me. So, I stopped to look around. As I observed the drops of mist on the grass and leaves, listening to the birds singing, I realized how everything is perfect and in place.

God provides in wonderful ways for all living creatures on this Earth. Food, oxygen, and water are available. Insects and birds create music and rhythm, and nature offers a beautiful piece of art. In that present moment, in the “now,” I can feel an intense peace.

Why we Often Miss the Present Moment

Situations in life can be difficult, but we are able to go through them. We can do all things through Christ who strengthen us. (Philippians 4:13) When we overthink about these situations, we forget that we have that power. Also, we tend to plan so much that we miss the present joy by declaring things like: “One day,” “When the children will be older”, or “When I will have more money.” Without realizing it, we declare that our joy is in the future, that it is conditioned by external circumstances when really, it is already here and now.


Another way we can miss the present moment is by lingering about our past. We complain, saying things like: “I never had chance in life, “So many bad things happened to me.” We don’t need to carry any regrets or unforgiveness, they don’t serve us. When we forget that the past is finished, we let it define us, and it is then hard to grasp the present moment; the present opportunity for joy and renewal.

What the Bible Says About the Present Moment

The Bible invites us to live the present moment because it is in the now that we can find our joy and fulfillment.
Do not worry about the future:
“do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself” (Matthew 6:34). Don’t try to solve what has not happened yet, instead, place your trust in God now. He is taking care of you.
Do not stay in the past:
“No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62). By looking at yesterday, you miss today’s blessing. The kingdom of God, its peace is accessible now.

You can practice experiencing the present moment and accept it for what it is. You can observe what happens in your life without judgment. Don’t let your mind take you away with thoughts about past or future. Instead, focus on the trust that everything is working for your good. Right now, everything is ok. If you choose to live now, in the present, you will discover the peace you have in you, eternal peace.

Trusting God When Nothing Happens


When you are trying to accomplish something, like writing a book, starting a business, looking for a job, or even work on yourself, there are two phases. Accelerations, where everything goes fast, you are inspired, energized, motivated. And then, there are those empty spaces, moments when it seems that nothing happens. You have no new ideas, business is slow, you feel like what you do doesn’t matter, and it can be discouraging.

Trust when you don’t understand

It’s easy to thank God when you feel good. Things come into place, so you don’t doubt that you are on the right path. But when everything stops, doubts come quickly. The minute before, you were praising him for the inspiration or the feedback. Now you wonder why God put you on that road, why he put that dream in your heart. Why nothing is moving? You don’t know what to do. You don’t understand.


John 13:7
“Jesus replied, ‘You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Sometimes, you should not try to understand. Instead, you should trust that God is still working for you behind the scenes. Don’t be discouraged.

Aim for the top

Imagine your project, your dream, your promise is the mountain top. There is always a valley to cross before you reach the mountain. This quiet, this silence, this moment is your valley. If you were walking to the mountain top, would you stop walking just because it is going a little deeper or darker? You know the mountain is right in front of you because God promised you, and He never lies. So would you stop and stay in the dark? Or would you keep walking until you reach the mountain top?

Trust and keep walking

Keep walking patiently. Do what God told you to do, work on your dream consistently. Do the right thing. Even when it seems like nothing changes, keep your hope in God: Believe it will happen.
The truth won’t change, the promise won’t go. Change your perspective from doubt to trust. Choose to trust Him!

Be Kind to Yourself-How to manage Negative Emotions

We live in a world of appearances and performance. And because of this, we sometimes deny what we truly feel. Anxiety, sadness, grieving… Sometimes, we are acting fine. It seems like we have a limited time to get it together. Afterward, we are kindly requested to perform again. 

Pressure to Look Fine

Family and work-life can be sources of pressure. Your kids are looking up to you, and you want to give them your best. You want to be there for them, but if you care for your job, you don’t want to let personal issues drag you down or let your boss know he/she is stressing you out. You don’t want to appear weak, so you put your pretty face on. You mask what you truly feel. Here is the thing, denying your emotions is like putting a top on a boiling cooker. Eventually, the pressure will blow it out, and at the moment you least expect it. You need to be kind to yourself and take a moment to deal with your negative emotions.

How to Manage Your Negative Emotions?

1. Identify and Acknowledge your emotion

You need to agree that right that moment, you are not feeling good. You are feeling weak, sad, stressed, mad, or whatever the case may be. Identify it. I am not telling you to dwell in the negative emotion, but to accept it. 

2. Give it away

You don’t need to go through this alone, Jesus is available to carry your burden for you. This negative emotion is not serving you, so you can let it go. Only you can decide wheter to stay in it or to give it away.

Close your eyes, identify the feeling, welcome it, and give it away to God. 

What does the Bible Tells us About Negative Emotions?

1 Peter 5:6-7 reads: 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

When you acknowledge that you are not able, you recognize that God is able. You let Him in.

We have the privilege to have someone ready to take our worries, our anxiety, our negative emotions. So why not use it?

Think about the garbage man. He comes every week to take out your trash. But to make it happen, you have to put your trash outside. He is not going to come inside your house to take your trash.

The same way, God doesn’t intrude in your life. You need to invite Him. The first step to do so is to recognize that you need Him, to humble yourself and recognize that you can’t manage all your worries. Yes, you are sad, anxious, or scared. It is ok. God will take care of it.